This post is part 1 of 3 on coping with jealousy within a team.
When I was fourteen, I couldn’t see my jealousy.
What I saw was unfair, mean, fake, and about a hundred other teenaged emotions that had NOTHING to do with me, and everything to do with her.
Ever been there?
Running was my thing. MY thing. I was to be the ‘it’ girl, the superstar. At least, in my world, that was how it was supposed to go.
She didn’t love running. She often made that clear. Yet, she was good. Like, really good. She was the superstar. She was ‘it.’ She was better than me.
It didn’t feel right. It didn’t feel fair.
“I should be winning. I should be getting the attention. I should… I should… I should…”
Those were the lies I sold myself. That I somehow deserved what she had. That somehow, she didn’t. What I failed to buy was that I was jealous. I was jealous because I wanted to win. I was jealous for the affirmation and adoration. I was jealous because my reality was less than my dreams. I accepted this disillusion that she somehow earned these things at the sake of me. Jealousy, without my knowing, consumed me.
My jealousy was stealing my potential.
Jealously limited my talent. Good just became better than her.
Jealousy controlled my effort. Enough was enough when she said so.
Jealousy robbed my passion. Beating her became my sole purpose.
I was no longer in control. My jealousy was. I no longer focused on my goals, my development or my effort. I only measured hers. She became my standard. Not my goal. Not my best. Hers.
Back then, I couldn’t see this. Not at fourteen. Today I see it and recognize the danger jealousy can be to a team, a relationship, and an individual. We were both good. We both could have done so much together, for our team, for each other, for ourselves. But I simply chose not to.
My jealousy was not her fault. It was mine. Anything I did not earn was not because of her. It was because of me.
Something I really wish I would have grasped at fourteen.
Is my story familiar? Is your jealousy controlling you?
Learn how to recognize jealousy in the next post.
I hope my story will help you not to make the same mistake. Thanks for reading, Play now. Play YOU!
XO, Coach D
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