Relationships Matter More than Winning

The biggest secret to coaching girls has nothing to do with ability, technique or even body shape. The key is in the relationships.

Grimaces and good luck offerings are often given out when I mention I coach high school girls. I get it. I remember being a teenage girl. I remember living with other teenage girls. I think, for most people, when they think of young girls, they immediately go there. To the drama. To the insecurities. To the angst. That just isn't fair.

In our culture today, we call girls catty. We label them as mean, prissy or even worse. We fail to see the importance of relationships in their lives. This is unfair and unjust. Girls have an amazing capability to balance fierce with finesse. Strong with sweet. Edgy with elegant. They wear pink shoes covered in mud. No matter the age, girls are FUN!

Yes, girls still go to the bathroom in groups! Friends are important to girls. As a youth, peer relationships are extremely influential. More girls are playing sport today than ever before. Therefore, we, as coaches and parents, can't get so fixated on competition, perfection and achievements that we neglect the very reason girls started and stay committed to a sport;

• Fun

• Friends

• Fulfilling

Let your girls talk to each other. Let them talk to you about homework, or boy problems, or The Bachelor. Teach your girls how to talk to each other. How to talk to themselves. Create fun, encourage fun, BE fun. Ask your girls for advice without motive. Allow your girls to vent without judgment. Expect your girls to be the very best version of themselves.

Winning is fun. Winning is important. Winning WILL happen when your girls feel valued, appreciated and encouraged. Winning matters.

But your girls matter more.

Don't neglect the relationships within your team. Appreciate them. Foster them. Then enjoy the ride!

How do you foster relationships on your team?

Play now. Play YOU!

XO, Coach D